By Kayla Woody, CPN House of Hope Prevention Specialist
Everyone has the right to make their own choices about their bodies, yet many individuals lack knowledge about consent. Consent is about more than sex. It’s about showing respect for your partner and their emotional and physical boundaries, and it’s a fundamental part of healthy relationships.
While the definition of consent may vary depending on who you ask or where you are, the general idea is the same. Consent is when someone understands what they’re being asked to do and gives their permission clearly and freely, without feeling pressured or forced. This can be agreeing to do something or allowing for something to happen. You can consent to a hug, a conversation, a text, a kiss and more.
When educating youth on the topic, Planned Parenthood has developed a creative way to remember the idea of consent.
F – Freely Given: Consent is a choice that someone makes without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
R – Reversible: Anyone can change their mind about what they are comfortable with at any time. Even if they’ve done it before, and even if it’s in the middle of an action.
I – Informed: Someone can only consent to something if they have all the details. If things have changed after consent was given, then there is no longer full consent.
E – Enthusiastic: When it comes to consent, both individuals should only say “Yes” to something that they want to do. You should never feel pressured to do something just because it’s expected of you. That is not consent.
S – Specific: Saying yes to one thing does not mean that the person is saying yes to other things.
However, when it comes to sexual interactions, some individuals cannot legally provide consent of any kind. These include:
- Minors under the legal age of consent
- Intoxicated or inebriated individuals
- Anyone asleep or mentally/physically incapacitated
- Individuals under power dynamics or perceived authority
- Anyone under duress, threat, coercion or force
Laws around consent are very different across the nation. In the State of Oklahoma, the legal age of consent was recently raised from 16 to 18 years of age.
This means that legally, an individual under 18 years of age, in the State of Oklahoma, cannot provide consent in sexual interactions with someone over 18 years of age. The exception to this law states that if the individual is 16 years of age, they can consent to sexual interactions with an individual no more than four years older, as long as the older individual is not of perceived authority or dynamic power.
Consent doesn’t have to be complicated. Although conversations about consent may be awkward, they’re necessary. This means communicating every step of the way. Don’t just assume someone is comfortable with your actions. Do not just listen for a “Yes.” Consent is communicated verbally and through physical body language. Start by asking!
If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual assault, intimate partner violence, and/or stalking and would like more information, please contact the House of Hope at 405-275-3176 or visit us online at facebook.com/cpnhouseofhope.