By Kayla Woody, Citizen Potawatomi Nation House of Hope Prevention Specialist

It’s the month of love, but do you question if your partner is abusive? This quiz may help you determine if you are in a healthy relationship. Just read each question and answer honestly for yourself.

  • Makes me feel nervous when we disagree
  • Tries controlling a lot of the things I do
  • Accuses me of flirting or cheating
  • Texts and calls all the time
  • I feel like I am always trying to find ways to please my partner
  • Hits or throws things when they are angry
  • Our relationship is moving pretty fast
  • Always asks where I am or what I am doing
  • It is always someone else’s fault as to why they do things
  • Asks me to change what I am wearing
  • Puts me down a lot lately
  • Doesn’t like me spending time with others
  • My friends don’t like my partner at all
  • Says I’m too involved in different activities
  • I have no life outside of our relationship

The results with the most checkmarks:

Give yourself one point for each bubble you said “yes” for.

0 points: You got a score of zero? Don’t worry. It’s a good thing. It sounds like your relationship is very healthy!

1-2 points: You may be noticing a few things in your relationship that are unhealthy, but it doesn’t mean they are warning signs. It is still a good thing to keep an eye out and check for unhealthy patterns.

3-4 points: It sounds like you may be seeing some warning signs of an abusive relationship. Do not ignore these signs. Many of these start out small, and gradually, the behavior becomes much worse.

5 points: If you have received this score, there is a very good chance that you are currently in an abusive relationship. Remember that the most important thing for you is safety.

Here at the House of Hope, we can help you put together a safety plan, and you do not have to deal with this alone. We are here to help. Contact one of our community advocates to find out options at 405-275-3176, visit us online at or contact our 24/7 crisis line at 405-878-4673.